What’s new in my life? I woke up Saturday morning to hear my great-grandmother had passed away (ina lillahi wa ina ilahi rajioon. InshAllah May God grant you heaven). I believe she died in her sleep and felt little discomfort. Her death wasn’t tragic. She had lived for over 90 years mashAllah. Her life, on the other hand, has been full of many ups and downs. I never had the fortunate of meeting her, but her death brought a flood of tears to my eyes, and I feel a bit emotional these days.
We called my great-grandmother, Nani Bibi, with such affection it was as if we had known her all our lives. Perhaps, she was so close to my heart because she raised my mother and her two sisters. She lived through wars, a partition, a broken family, and so much more, but she never became jaded or cynical. She remained steadfast in her prayers until the day she died despite having one functioning leg. She has done things no other woman today could ever have done, and she loved and cared for strange children as if they were her own. I guess it was destined that I was never to meet this woman, but I feel so close to her for some reason.
I don’t mean to bring further depressing news, but I received a negative response from the Fulbright commission last week. I know a lot of you were crossing your fingers for me, but I guess this was meant to happen. I have picked myself up and dusted myself off. I do regret putting all my eggs in one basket, so to speak, for this one award. I gave up the possibility of grad school and law school in hopes I would get such a prestigious award. Maybe this was supposed to teach me a lesson? Anyway, what am I going to do next? I am thinking about teaching and going to grad school. I am also considering volunteer projects in a developing country or something here. If you have any suggestions or ideas let me know! I am open to anything!
Peace and Love <3
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