Wherever, Whenever

I think I am ready to start a new chapter of my life in a new place, a place where I can start afresh. There are memories that I would like to forget, and I think leaving is the best option right now. It's also possible I want to leave because I just can’t sit still in once place and keep my mind on one thing :]

I have lived here my entire life. My great-grandfather stumbled across the Central Valley during the Great Depression era after jumping ship in New York Harbor. He met a woman from Louisiana and started a new life and family with her. This was all before the formation of the modern state of Pakistan, so he had always referred to himself as an Afghan (the history of British colonialism in the subcontinent is a bit complicated). Anyway, he experienced many hardships, but he eventually became successful. I guess you could say we are indebted to the Central Valley. Maybe this just my mentality, but for some reason I have a sense of gratefulness to the places where I have lived. I have lived in Atlanta, Georgia; Ankara, Turkey, and College Park, Maryland where many vivid memories of my adult life were made.

Atlanta, Georgia has a special place in my heart because it was the first place where I made a home outside of California. Despite the slaps of heat on my face, thunderstorms, and flying cockroaches, my summer was categorized by random outdoor excursions, splashing parties on the shallow end of the pool (I still can’t swim!), intense classroom discussions, and lazy days just watching movies and reading books. We also went on an exciting study mission to New York and Washington DC at the end of the program. I met some interesting people in Hotlanta, and despite its urban culture and character, one can still find traces of Southern hospitality. I was also impressed by the activities organized by the Pakistani and Muslim groups, and knew that I would have a find a place in those groups. The summer I left Atlanta, I was making plans to come back for a job and internship. A few weeks later I went to Turkey.

Those close to me know how much I love Turkey, but if you had met me after Atlanta, you would have noticed how much I loved Atlanta as well. After one year away from home, I came for three days and made another trip to College Park, Maryland, a town a few metro stops away from DC. I think in the past year in a half, I have been on a plane over ten times (I count the breaks and side trips). Atlanta, College Park, and Ankara all have a special place in my heart because I’ve lived in those places for extended periods of time. When I came back in August 2008 from Maryland, I was making plans for a job and considering grad school there. Now it’s February 2009, and my mind has changed once again. I am waiting for the wind to take my somewhere. InshAllah, I pray for a good place :]

Peace and Love <3

Baby Cuz I am a Thug

Thanks to the internet, the unthinkable is now thinkable. Here is something you don't see everyday-an online nikkah ;) Check out this joke. It's definitely worth the time.

http://maniacmuslim.com/2004/12/21/online-nikkah/

Whatever Doesn't Kill You Only Makes You Stronger ;)

What’s new in my life? I woke up Saturday morning to hear my great-grandmother had passed away (ina lillahi wa ina ilahi rajioon. InshAllah May God grant you heaven). I believe she died in her sleep and felt little discomfort. Her death wasn’t tragic. She had lived for over 90 years mashAllah. Her life, on the other hand, has been full of many ups and downs. I never had the fortunate of meeting her, but her death brought a flood of tears to my eyes, and I feel a bit emotional these days.

We called my great-grandmother, Nani Bibi, with such affection it was as if we had known her all our lives. Perhaps, she was so close to my heart because she raised my mother and her two sisters. She lived through wars, a partition, a broken family, and so much more, but she never became jaded or cynical. She remained steadfast in her prayers until the day she died despite having one functioning leg. She has done things no other woman today could ever have done, and she loved and cared for strange children as if they were her own. I guess it was destined that I was never to meet this woman, but I feel so close to her for some reason.

I don’t mean to bring further depressing news, but I received a negative response from the Fulbright commission last week. I know a lot of you were crossing your fingers for me, but I guess this was meant to happen. I have picked myself up and dusted myself off. I do regret putting all my eggs in one basket, so to speak, for this one award. I gave up the possibility of grad school and law school in hopes I would get such a prestigious award. Maybe this was supposed to teach me a lesson? Anyway, what am I going to do next? I am thinking about teaching and going to grad school. I am also considering volunteer projects in a developing country or something here. If you have any suggestions or ideas let me know! I am open to anything!

Peace and Love <3